Save the Deli

A “Delicatessen” that you’re not nearly cool enough for

“…Ummm yeah, hold on for a second…that’s my Blackberry…apparently it’s Paris on the line…as in Hilton. Yeah, she’s just coming up from Nobu with Graydon and Orlando…anyway, are you on the guest list? No? Please step back. I’m serious, get the hell out of here fatty!”

And so opens the most pretentious delicatessen in the history of New York. “Delicatessen” is a much hyped, over the top, insanely posh reinmagined bar/lounge/restaurant/retro deli/diner in the spray-on-denim kingdom known as Nolita/Soho…where the skin is taut, the heels high, and the nights just fab-u-lous! The chairs are by Eames and the menu is designed by Terry Richardson (the world’s coolest ex-junkie photographer). There are velvet ropes, clipboard wielding PR chicks in droves, and enough mirrors and glass to satisfy FARC’s annual supply of white gold.

Yes friends, this is a new age proto deli for the ultra slick hipteratti of New York’s decadent downtown. The menu is a mashup of mac n’ cheese, Reuben fritters, pastrami, matzo ball, and deep fried sliders. It’s inventive, fusiony, and beyond pretentious. The bloggers, scenesters, and various anorexic hangers on are already lining up for a chance to eat the HOTTEST bowl of chicken soup this side of the Grammercy.

As a deli lover I find this interesting as a social phenomenon. Will this place be around in 5-10 years? I wouldn’t bet on it. Hip, funky, innovative takes on deli are great for a short period. Remember Mo Pitkin’s House of Satisfaction? Me neither.

If you need me, I’ll be in the can with Padma, Paris, and two goats. You look gorgeous.

10 Responses to “A “Delicatessen” that you’re not nearly cool enough for”

  1. Stu Shiffman Says:

    David, all I can say is WTF? Just what the world of deli needs, pretentious and shallow deli noshers.

    “I’m sorry, we don’t have a non-fat anything.”

    Frankly (yuck, yuck), I’d rather catch a street hot dog.

    Give me the gribenes and pastrami and no one gets hurt.

  2. Aredee Says:

    It remands me of those Miller High Life commercials in which the delivery guy is removing the beer from places where he deems it’s inappropriately placed–like expensive mini-bars and ball park sky boxes. Never mind the fact that a bottle of Miller would probably cost you a 10-spot in a lot of major league ball parks, or that Miller execs have access to sky boxes at Milwaukee’s Miller Park. Miller Park, BTW, was not named after a famous WW II band leader.

    But I digress.

  3. Howard (Silverstein) Binstock Says:

    Just a quickie question, David.
    What were you drinking when you wrote this post cuz I’d like to have a couple of belts of the same goldeneh vasser :)

  4. Greg A Says:

    5 – 10 years? More like will it be around in 2 – 3 years, I say no way.
    There are only so many matzo balls Paris and friends will eat in a year!

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    Sabes lo que deberías estar haciendo para tu salud
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    Este fabuloso kit incluye un vibrador G Vibe (18 cm), un estimulador Diamont
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    alentar el punto G y unas bolas chinas de 3 cm. de diámetro.

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